The first Christmas without someone
The first Christmas without Mum, Dad or Granny puts a lot of firsts into one day. There's their chair at the table, the job they always did and the present you'd have bought them. Here are a few things families do to bring them into the day, and a gift the whole family can share.
Keep a place for them at the table
Some families leave their chair empty with a candle or a sprig of holly on it. Others light a candle in the window on Christmas Eve. Some can't face the empty chair and move the table round instead.
Every family does it differently, and you can change your mind on the day.
Make their recipe
Make the stuffing, the trifle or the Christmas cake the way they did. Find the card the recipe is written on and stand it up on the counter while you cook.
If the recipe only ever lived in their head, ask the family what they remember. Between you, you'll piece most of it together. Give the grandchildren the job they used to do with them.
Raise a glass to them
Before the dinner, someone says their name and everyone raises a glass. One line is plenty. Some families play a song they loved, or put on the radio station they always had on in the kitchen.
Share a memory each
After the dinner, go round the table and each person tells one memory of them. The little ones can draw one instead.
If that's too much for Christmas Day, keep it for St Stephen's Day or New Year's Eve. Some families go away for the first Christmas and pick up their traditions the year after, and that's fine too.
Gather everyone's stories about them
If you're looking for a gift for someone grieving at Christmas, give them everyone's stories about the person they've lost.
Send one Chorus link to everyone who knew them. That's their brothers and sisters, old friends, neighbours, the people they worked with and the grandchildren. Each person tells a story about them by voice, on video or in writing, from their own phone. Add the voice notes and videos you have of them too, so their own voice is in the book.
Mam made the pudding in October and every one of us had to stir it and make a wish.
Aoife, her daughter
Every Christmas Eve Dad drove us in to see the lights on Henry Street, and we always stopped for chips on the way home.
Seán, his son
The book starts with three questions, and you can change any of them:
- What's a Christmas with them you remember?
- What did they always do at Christmas?
- What's a story about them you'd like the grandchildren to hear?
Chorus writes out every recording and lays them into one book the family can hear, read and hold. Gathering the stories is free.
Close the book by Friday 4 December 2026 for the printed copy to arrive for Christmas. If you need longer, the podcast link and the book online are ready the day you order.
Start a book of stories about them
If it's a few years since they died, our list of gifts for someone still grieving, years on has memory bears, quilts and name candles from Irish makers.
What can we do on the first Christmas without Mum?
Keep a place for her at the table, make her recipe, raise a glass to her before the dinner and share a memory each afterwards. Give the grandchildren a job she used to do on the day.
What is a good gift for someone grieving at Christmas?
A book of everyone's stories about the person they've lost. With Chorus you send one link to everyone who knew them. Each person records a story from their own phone, and it becomes one book the family can hear, read and hold. Gathering the stories is free.
Can we have the book in time for Christmas?
Close the book by Friday 4 December 2026 for the printed copy to arrive for Christmas. The podcast link and the book online are ready the day you order.
Who should we ask for a story?
Ask the family first, then their friends, their neighbours and the people they worked with. Each of them knew a different side of the person, and their friends often have stories the family has never heard.